Thank you Carley Simon for a song that pops in my head all the time! About Summit, about others (I’m a judgie person) and mostly about myself. Or maybe I should thank Stone Mill for playing that song over and over and over and over… I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m vain. I’ll say it. I like to feel well-groomed when I leave the house: a little make-up, hair at least pulled up and a clean shirt usually does the trick. Now you may be thinking, “that’s not that vain, you do a whole lot of other things that are much more va-” now wait, now you are judging ME and I’m the one writing this blog so I’ll write about what I want to write about! Me! 
They, those imfamous “they”, say that laughter is the best medicine. WHO SAID THAT? I say it’s the best coping mechanism. W/o laughter I’d be a crazy person trying to buy the color aqua at Wal-Mart because it looked like it tasted good in my head. I went to an orthodontist the other day in my new I’m-not-going-to-procrastinate-about-my-heath-mid-year-resolution and the doctor just looked at my x-rays and then looked at me with a smile that said “damn”. He said I’ve had every surgery that he has ever reccomended and I felt proud for a second. Kind of like when Summit did so well on those tests that proved how behind he was. Yay! -then suddenly the realization that being special just isn’t that great. I laughed the whole time I was at the orthodontist, he was funny too and probably thinks how great I am handling everything. I laugh too much. Not all laughter is me coping with something, I feel I should add that. I like to laugh and have fun, but I kind of think that I do it in not-so-appropriate situations. Like having to have an extremely painful surgery done to me again. Like having enormous bill to pay off, on top of the ones for Summit’s testing… like having to trust in a God that keeps putting me in these situations that I simply WANT TO CONTROL.
My vanity? I’m going to have to go into braces again. Again. I had them for 8 years. 8 years. 8 freakin’ years. I thought that was behind me, a welcome part of my past. A past I want to forget. Getting braces again is bringing up a lot of issues I thought I had dealt with. I’m going to look like an idiot. I’m going to look like a teen mom. People already think I’m 20 NOW, what will braces do to my age category? Will I get carded for a R-rated movie? I’m more stressed about my flippin’ appearance than the close to fifty grand the surgery will cost. More than the pain that made having Summit via-section seem like a walk in the park. More than the claustrophobia of being stuck inside myself b/c of my jaw being wired shut. MORE than not being able to eat solid foods for almost 2 months. Two months around the holidays. Arg. This sucks. I’m trying to be positive, well, I guess not in THIS particular blog, but in general I try to be. Somedays I just feel like complaining and today is one of those. Let me be, please.