Who ever called it “potty training” must have been an observer, not the trainer themselves. Or a Man. Or previously a dog trainer. Whatever the case, “potty training” just isn’t the right way to put it. I guess lack of better terms may have caused this- but seriously, “potty training” sounds like an orderly event, very practical and disciplined. Yeah. It doesn’t capture the essence of older couples glaring at you when you say loudly in a restaurant, “DO YOU HAVE TO GO POO-POO?” or come back to the table with a naked child because they had an accident in the two seconds it took you to get to the dirty bathroom in Taco Bueno and optimistically you didn’t bring wipes or spare underwear.
It doesn’t capture the frustration (ok, outright anger) of the parent when the child decides he’d rather wet his undies, pants, socks and floor while watching Spongebob than go pee in the toilet. What about the nasty, warm public bathrooms with pee on the seat and random body hair on that little open place in the front of the seat? Or the smells, dear God, the smells? Or the flushing toilets in the stall over that distract? The aching back and shaking shoulders from holding a sitting child upright, the burning calves from squatting?
Or the fact that my child has no force with his pee so sitting down is pretty mandatory right now or we’ll have wet pants and underwear, thus diffusing the reason for which we attempted to empty the bladder IN the pot. Or my insane gag reflex that sends me running, hand clasped over mouth, out of pretty much any restroom. Or just my brain that doesn’t remind me to take him, so even though I want to blame him for not telling me, it’s really my fault, in fact.
In spite of all that, he’s only had 3 accidents in a week (diapers at nap and bedtime). Only one of them poopie, but it was so gross I’m traumatized. He wore a diaper today when I went out, I’m such a wimp. Honestly, I don’t know what I’m doing. Part of me just wants to forget this for now and deal with it later, but I know that I need to bite the ole proverbial bullet and be a man! Er- woman, but saying “be a woman” doesn’t really have the same implications. How much longer will this take? Is there an end in sight? What a disgusting business.
OH, and to Katy, Kim and Wendy- thank YOU for the comments! 😉 Stalkers, you suck.