I’ve decided to not say that I’m back anymore writing on here because a.) I have proved myself a liar in that area and b.) I hate liars. As I’m trying to be more positive and less self-depreciating, the whole not-lying-about-being-back bit is where I feel I should be. SO, I’m sort of back in a sense that I’m HERE writing right now, but I sure don’t know when I’ll be back. I don’t like pressure. Even in these type situations where there isn’t actually pressure being exerted by anyone, (yeah, *thanks* for all the comments begging my return, readers. All 3 of you. I mean, but you still matter to me, I’ll take my 3 devotees over 0. you rock!) but when I say that I’m back I feel pressure on myself to post something clever and witty and I’m just fresh out these days. I think it’s because I don’t really have a computer. I mean, I have ones I can use, but all three, yes, three, (my husband is an I.T. guy, F.Y.I.) are B’s and he can be selfish. Take right now for example: humbly I ask for a lap top so I can delete the almost 400 spam messages on my blog (another reason I have been avoiding it here… TOO MUCH virtual housecleaning) and he give me his work computer so naturally if he comes back out after his shower and says, “honey, I have work to do.” what can I say? I mean, I’d love to say “SCREW YOU! JUST LET ME HAVE IT FOR FREAKING 15 MINUTES” but I’m rather happy that he has a steady job and with the economy being as crappy as ‘they’ say it is, I need to just had over the computer so B won’t be the latest casualty in the latest corporate layoff shin dig.
That being said, the real reason I grabbed the computer was to blab about the other morning when I didn’t want to get out of bed. You know, the average type morning for me. I hate the mornings. I really hate the mornings when I have a sick kid who is all fever-y and wants to be held all the time even though I want to stay away from him to avoid getting sick so the 3-month-old doesn’t get sick even though he’s suppose to have immunity or something being that I breast feed and HE BETTER NOT GET SICK because he’s just an unpredictable baby that may decide to cry all the time and then I’ll go crazy because I don’t deal with crying children well and why the heck am I breast feeding if he’ll still get sick anyways??????? Well, in my dream I heard Summit yelling my name but he sounded cheery or something so my dream was still fairly positive. We put a child gate up outside his door because he has this habit of sneaking in (there is a whole other blog post about THAT) and we wanted to be safe in the mornings so he can’t escape and suddenly figure out to get outside and wander off and get lost so I’m really actually a great parent here, protecting my child and it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact he gets up too early at times and I don’t want to be bothered…. No, nothing at ALL. So, in my happy dream he’s yelling my name in a cheery voice that just barely registered with reality so I rolled over and went back to sleep. ONLY to get woken up 10 minutes later by my dear Sum with his toy microphone (that still amplifies the voice) yelling my name over and over until I fell out of bed and stumbled into the hallway…
Another great mom moment that won’t make it in the baby book.