I hate the kind of people who run from one crisis to another. I mean, where is their faith? They are annoying and always seem to be complaining, needing prayer and are not much fun to be around.
I am *totally* that person. That sucks.
I’m not ready to give up my toddler. He will be three in May and I’ve known for 2 years that he’d start full-time daycare at that time and it’s for the best- etc. I thought I’d be ready emotionally. WRONG. Yesterday, the center director said that she had an opening for him and he could start MONDAY. EEEEEEEK! WHAT?! 2 months earlier than I had though? that is outrageous, crazy, and what-the-heck, I’m crying.
He can’t tell me if there is a bully. He can’t tell me if his teacher hates him. He can’t tell me about his day… I really wish that his speech therapy would kick in soon so he could communicate! Even now, as I’m typing, I can feel my blood pressure rising.
I know it’s for the best. I mean, for crying out loud, he screeches every time we leave therapy at the center because he wants to stay. When I asked him if he wanted to go to “therapy” every day, all day, he smiled and said a very clear “yes!”. Whatever, he probably didn’t really understand me… right? 🙂
It’s just that he seems so young. He is so little. I’m not wanting outside influences other than me in his life. I am selfish and want to horde him. I don’t want to share him, he is my endorphins. How will I get by without him? What will I do for 3 months before the baby comes?
I know, I’m a total drama queen and I hate myself for it. It’s funny how irrational you can be about your children. It’s not like I’m giving him up for adoption, but I almost feel that way. Geez, it’s been an emotional 5 days, I need an emotional vacation.