I’m an interim.
Sometimes I think I’m given people for just a short while, to release them back out like an injured animal. Not that they are brought to me for healing… that is kind of a bad analogy, calling myself a mender of sorts… I’m more of a listener than a mender, which, to some perhaps, is healing but once more, NOT my point here today.
What do you do when your friend(s) change? When they move on? When they don’t [gasp] NEED you any more?
When the phone calls go unanswered and unreturned?
When one who is your soul mate in a friend moves away?
There is a gaping, tearing hole left by those left behind. You know it’s not because they are avoiding you, but because they are genuinely BUSY, living their life in an awesome, glorious way.
It’s happened to me. I’m sure I’ve done it to others.
How do you feel when you are just a stopping point for someone on their way in their life? When they move on, grow, change for the BETTER and then you are standing there, in the dust of their success and … missing them.
I remember in the 4th grade knowing that this was my unique skill set, my forte, knowing the pain and confusion of knowing the release was near, as much as I may try to fight it.
I think it started because I understood the confusion of moving a lot. I understood standing on the sidelines and wishing someone would just come talk to me. I knew what rejection felt like at an early age, understood cliques and fickle girls long before junior high. Because of that pain, I learned to see it in others, the lost look of someone new to town and FIND them, even in my insecurity and shyness drived from a hard transition from an elementary in the north to one in the south where I couldn’t understand my teacher’s drawl.
Sometimes I’m over it, then other times I’m seeing my friends that have moved on, either locally or on the other side of the world or 10 states away… all doing great, living healthy, real lives, and me… I’m missing them. I miss our phone calls, I miss chatting, I miss their faces and most of all, I miss my friends who get me. I miss our laughter and our realness.
Letting go hurts, it’s a hard thing. It’s healthy, and wonderful. I’m happy, but with a side of hurt.
What about you? Have you been hurt unintentionally by friends or are you the one who moves on from relationships?