As the boys try to choke each other in the living room, Bug dancing out of his brothers reach with the puzzle piece he knows his older brother wants, I can’t help but sigh in resignation of the day. My white flag is up, hands held high in the deepest surrender. I give up for today and I feel physically beat up.
Finishing a conversation with Ben as he drove home on this epic fail of a day I said, “I don’t know if it’s cholorophil or bug guts…” and I felt like laughing insanely that such a bizarre phrase had to come out of my mouth.
I can’t get Bear to talk- he’s pleading the 5th, thinking he’ll get in more trouble if he tells me WHAT it was he put up his nose.
But the truth is, this isn’t why I’m frustrated on the edge of sanity today…
-It’s the dark muddy smears in the carpet from when I had to put Bug outside to play when I was on the phone for work and he walked back inside after tracking in the only muddly place in my yard.
-It’s the fact that I cleaned up cat vomit minutes after waking up late for the day.
–It’s the crazy deadlines, no, not the deadlines, the child that seemed obsessed with making sure I wouldn’t get them done.
-It’s the fact that my budding artist used my work to-do list to do his special art on.
-It’s the bag of m&m’s I bribed him with that he managed to cover himself with in a slobbery, sweaty mess. It was almost pretty actually.
-It’s about the fact my house has been destroyed silently as they pull toys out from rooms, from drawers, from toy bins, from THE AIR then scatter them around the house, delighted and smiling like little mess fairies.
-It’s the constant screaming. “he hit me!” with genuine outrage each time.
-It’s the bag of peanut butter m&m’s I ate and the lack of exercise as I sit in my work out clothes typing this minute.
-It’s the fact that they both, left unattended for a minute outside, got in the plastic kid pool that had a dirty puddle of rain water in the bottom and soaked themselves very, very quickly. Like with vampire styled quickness.
-It’s the box of rice chex that has been wasted, crunched into a powder after Bug quietly got in the pantry while I sliced veggies for dinner and took it outside only to apparently pretend it was confetti.
-It’s the open markers on the table, after I told him to put the caps back on.
-It’s the way Bear told Ben exactly what he put up his nose within a minute of him arriving home.
-It’s the “The only thing I would change about this” (regarding the dinner I cooked).
It’s nothing big. It’s everything small.
Ben just came to me, grumbling, “Well, I just had my FAIL for the day. I turned around for a SECOND and Bug was dumping cup after cup of water onto the bath mat!”
Welcome, my friend. Welcome.