Lately I’ve been feeling the itch of the burnt out here on my blog. I haven’t felt like doing much of what interests me typically. I’ve been sleeping more.
I think it’s seasonal. I love the first blush of fall and the changing weather makes my skin pulse with expectation of an adventure and the staleness of sitting still aggravates. I dream of tomorrow, hope for the future and longing inexpressible for miracles while remaining in love with today.
It’s like the young people I see with an ear bud in 1 ear an not the other- the place of halfway in both places without being present either.
Erin Chiolino’s wedding: Stephanie Dawn Photography
**********
We got back Bear’s first report card from his first quarter at Kindergarten. When I realized the check marks were *not* actually good things, it was a bit disappointing, but not the heart-pain kind. I mean, I knew he was going to struggle to keep up and to learn as fast as the others. More important to me was his social interactions and how he got along with others because you just get further in life when people love you. He got all top marks in that category. 
Oh, and he got a special award recently as an assembly. The teacher leaning in the car was bubbling while she told me, “it’s very special that a kindergartner got this award! There are only 4 given out a year. He won a special award on character.”
and I felt that catch of a sob rise in my chest.
**********
Having a special needs child like Bear is a rare gift. Sometimes, as it can be with rare things, there is a delicacy, a fragility.
such goodness.