Truthfully, I HAD the funk, for the last two weeks… Actually, it might have been less of a ‘Funk’, and more of a ‘Woe is me’ combined with a ‘What the heck happened’/’Can I get a re-deal?’
Have you guys ever felt like that?
Last week while waiting for my oldest to get out of a Boy Scout meeting, I sat in the car and wrote down some reflections, and I thought I would share some of those with you here.
“Sitting in the car, waiting for the meeting to get over and I have a lot going on in my head that I need to get out. It is crazy to me that two weeks ago life looked like it was headed up and now I feel so defeated… (yes, even when I hand write, I over use the ‘…’) Bear with me as I work through some things:
*Getting a pool for the kids: We were so excited, took a couple days to get it out and set up and then moved around until we ‘eyeballed’ it level, only to find that when we filled it there was about a 2 foot difference from one end to the other.
*My amazing gym membership that only costs me $20/month: I have loved working out with friends for the last few months and enjoyed getting in shape, only to realize that I can’t afford the $45/week in gas it costs to get there.
*A financial opportunity that I was super excited about: It has kind of stalled out and I am not sure what is happening with it, or if it is a permanent or temporary stall..
* Struggling with ‘dying to self’…ugh, this is so difficult for me.
*Feeling like I am dropping the ball in so many areas: I am talking about dropping LEAD balls, not bouncy balls, and having them land on my feet. (This was not literal just in case you were wondering…my feet are fine.)
Those were just a few of the things that were plaguing me, but I look around and have to say this:
*I have a running vehicle, three healthy kids and the ability to take them to town to do fun things!
*We have a pool that is great if you want to only get wet to your knees OR all the way up to your shoulders! (p.s. it is perfect for playing Marco Polo).
*I have friends that are supportive of me, that encourage me and that are rooting for me!
*I have been blessed to have a home, parents that are supportive of me, and a way to make money from home so that I don’t have to get a 9-5 job and can stay home with the kids even though I am a single mom.
* Yeah…here I got nothing, ‘dying to self’ stinks. 😉
*Guess what? A lot of people don’t even have the opportunity to have balls to drop.
I can’t stress enough how thankful I am for my Kids, my Mom and Dad, my Sister and Brother-in-Law, my Brother and Sister-in-Law , my Niece and Nephews, my friends (there are more than a few of you that encourage me and lift me up), and my church family at Journey Anew!
You know, just putting this out there made me feel better…What do you need to put out there to feel better? If you don’t want to make it public but feel like sharing, email me at sarea.clark@gmail.com! I would love to hear from you…