Day 30: I am thankful for the here and now.
I can’t believe it’s been 29 days since Day 1 of 30 Days of Thanksgiving.
I wish I could say something profound that completely summarizes this last month- buuuuuut something that complete and final wouldn’t really be what most of you see in me here. I’m such an ongoing mess of a story. I don’t think a blog post will ever be closed with a finality or any closure, but, honestly, I really love this journey.
I’ve loved this challenge more than any other blogging one I’ve ever done- and I’ve actually stuck with it. A lot of times I get on something fun or a trend but this month was genuinely birthed by my desire to not only start each day with what I was thankful for but to also list it out here. Being truly, constantly and deeply thankful is slowly becoming a part of life.
I’m sitting by the fire now, my Christmas lights twinkling, my moo cat trying to get up on my keyboard, a fire roaring in the place, football on in the background, worship music in the forefront, my Ben to my left and my kids just down. I expect to see them soon actually, but the calm of the moment is a beauty of a thing.
I’ve felt an ache this week, a displacement, a hunger, a hurt.
Some weeks are a sigh out. A puzzlement of distress and anxiety. Most days I feel like I’m on the high dive of a pool, looking down, ready to jump with the quickening heart of a bit o fear and anticipation- but the pool just isn’t clear. I hesitate before jumping.
So, I’m thankful for the today. For the here and now because it’s what I have. It’s what is clear and what I can see, hear and touch.
Oh, but I dream.
I still dream.
