Part One of a Two Part Series on listening
Growing up my dad would literally quiz us at random times on a variety of subjects. We would panic because we loved praise too much and always wanted a chance to show up our siblings. We would then stutter out the answers, screaming at the other one when they would jump in with the correct answer. Let me clarify by saying this is when we were younger…not when we were teenagers…
The one I can still quote today is the art of listening. “What are the 3 rules of listening?” my dad would shout out, mock drill Sargent style.
“LOOK the person in the eyes!”
“THINK about what they are saying!”
“and ummmm, ummm -aaaahhh I know this!- ASK questions!”
I’m still annoyed when I’m talking to someone and they rarely make eye contact. Thanks Dad for making my standards so high! 😉 But seriously, people have forgot how to listen. I’m constantly interrupting my friends, and them me, and we’re fine, skipping around a dozen or so different conversations then remembering with an exclamation, “oh, but I wanted to say-” Maybe it’s just our fast paced life that makes us so manic sometimes, but I’m starting more and more to crave good, calm conversation. Conversation that goes beyond the shallow, where it might get scary and maybe awkward as you ask each other the hard questions. The real questions. The life questions. Conversations best had sometimes over a bottle of wine or margaritas.
I love to talk about God, the concept of grace and world religions. Or whatever. Let’s talk politics! I especially love conversations when the person I’m with doesn’t agree with me in part or full. I love to learn, to change some worldview I was clinging onto that maybe wasn’t right. But I’m on a tangent now…
Oh how I digress! Back to listening. It really is an art. I’m going back-to-my-roots here to grow in an area that I struggle in. Listening isn’t excitedly thinking what you are going to say next when they shut-up! And I’m so very guilty of doing just that! What I have to say is so freakin’ profound that they need to be quiet and listen! mwahahahah! I’m literally Laughing Out Loud right now at my own tendencies. and yes, I really did use LOL, cause I’m a huge dork. Deal with it.
So, to wrap up my rambling, the conclusion of my first part is to really LISTEN. Practice it. Leave a comment and perhaps you’ll be the fortunate recipient of my quizzing you on the rules of listening when I see you next!